the problem of the sex thing...
I haven't met any christian who has fully understood and gotten the 'right' grasp on sex and the unmarried christian, single or in a relationship.
If you're reading to get some answers, I apologize cos I ain't got none; just a couple experiences and my humble point of view. I'm in a beautiful relationship. I admit i was sumthin of a 'playa' gurl until i met D almost 2yrs ago and everything changed for the better. While i had had a couple 'escapades and adventures', I've always stayed true to my temple, anything beyond the 'games' and 'flirting' was a no-no. but i wasn't anticipating how incredibly hard it would be 1nce i was with someone i loved so deeply, it makes me wanna give all of myself to him.
But myself is not mine to give, until i walk the aisle 'n' tie the knot. 1Cor 6:20 "you were bought with a price, therefore honor God with your body".
Yeah, easier said than done. But ya'll would really be suprised that it's not a "big deal" for a lot of christians 2day to do "that thing", "we love each other, so whatz the problem?". I've heard that so many times. But I write not to those, the bible is loud n clear on what the problem is.
It's just that its hard, very hard to fight and overcome the temptation time after time. And the church i don't think can give us any real solution, only consolation its worth it to obey God than enjoy 10-minutes of lust and then feel horrible. Cos sin is sooo sweet while you tasting it, but so bitter afterwards.
And college/career/young adult grps I'm in have tried and failed to gimme any solid, real and especially relevant answer. I just hate to hear the lame, politically correct answers like:
-"only do things you can do if your dad was there"---nasty! I don't wan be thinking about my dad when I'm with my boyfriend! that's just wrong.
-"don't date, wait until God reveals ur husband/wife to you"--- how realistic is that? we r christians and separate but we r still human! so we should sit on our ___ in the church pews and wait for God to drop a partner in our lap? Sorry I'm not a believer in that. While I understand God does prepare and reveal our future partners to us, I disagree we should sit passively and wait for the world to come to us and make no moves. That's how a lotta people miss out on amazing things. I don't think it works like that (feel free 2 disagree with me).
-" don't be alone together, stay in places where nuthin can happen or double-date" --- yeah a nice 'easy' answer, but very unrealistic. Uhm, don't people who date do that to spend some quality time together, ALONE? so i should hang out @ starbucks and the movies and the restaurant and never ever be alone with him? and like any couple would double-date everytime.
I could go on but i think ya'll catch my flow. My only advice is just keep reminding urself (when those times/situations arise, and they will no matter how many times you avoid them) that God repays every1 of us for what we do and that obedience (even though we can't understand why) is always better than sacrifice. It'll probably get harder to resist and fight but I thank God His mercies r new every morning and just enuff to survive the days temptations. And if or when u fall, stand back up, being comforted in the fact the strong men of God like David fell, but were restored cos they knew they were only human and will make mistakes.
If you're reading to get some answers, I apologize cos I ain't got none; just a couple experiences and my humble point of view. I'm in a beautiful relationship. I admit i was sumthin of a 'playa' gurl until i met D almost 2yrs ago and everything changed for the better. While i had had a couple 'escapades and adventures', I've always stayed true to my temple, anything beyond the 'games' and 'flirting' was a no-no. but i wasn't anticipating how incredibly hard it would be 1nce i was with someone i loved so deeply, it makes me wanna give all of myself to him.
But myself is not mine to give, until i walk the aisle 'n' tie the knot. 1Cor 6:20 "you were bought with a price, therefore honor God with your body".
Yeah, easier said than done. But ya'll would really be suprised that it's not a "big deal" for a lot of christians 2day to do "that thing", "we love each other, so whatz the problem?". I've heard that so many times. But I write not to those, the bible is loud n clear on what the problem is.
It's just that its hard, very hard to fight and overcome the temptation time after time. And the church i don't think can give us any real solution, only consolation its worth it to obey God than enjoy 10-minutes of lust and then feel horrible. Cos sin is sooo sweet while you tasting it, but so bitter afterwards.
And college/career/young adult grps I'm in have tried and failed to gimme any solid, real and especially relevant answer. I just hate to hear the lame, politically correct answers like:
-"only do things you can do if your dad was there"---nasty! I don't wan be thinking about my dad when I'm with my boyfriend! that's just wrong.
-"don't date, wait until God reveals ur husband/wife to you"--- how realistic is that? we r christians and separate but we r still human! so we should sit on our ___ in the church pews and wait for God to drop a partner in our lap? Sorry I'm not a believer in that. While I understand God does prepare and reveal our future partners to us, I disagree we should sit passively and wait for the world to come to us and make no moves. That's how a lotta people miss out on amazing things. I don't think it works like that (feel free 2 disagree with me).
-" don't be alone together, stay in places where nuthin can happen or double-date" --- yeah a nice 'easy' answer, but very unrealistic. Uhm, don't people who date do that to spend some quality time together, ALONE? so i should hang out @ starbucks and the movies and the restaurant and never ever be alone with him? and like any couple would double-date everytime.
I could go on but i think ya'll catch my flow. My only advice is just keep reminding urself (when those times/situations arise, and they will no matter how many times you avoid them) that God repays every1 of us for what we do and that obedience (even though we can't understand why) is always better than sacrifice. It'll probably get harder to resist and fight but I thank God His mercies r new every morning and just enuff to survive the days temptations. And if or when u fall, stand back up, being comforted in the fact the strong men of God like David fell, but were restored cos they knew they were only human and will make mistakes.
posted by Aima at 8:32 AM
7 Comments:
wow...I always thot it but never really said it...how church grps give such 'fake' answers.
I suppose it's 1 sin that is incredibly hard to resist once you find urself in the situation constantly, especially becos you're in a relationship.
I like the scripture you quoted, also I get by and survive with a lotta prayer, cos I'm not even in a relationship but i occasionally find myself in a tight situation. Prayer gurl, that's all we can really do.
Funny thing is the older people who say don't date and wait for God didn't wait when they were younger. And now that they're married it's easy for them to dish out advice.
I'm like you, I haven't figured it out either, just kinda going along with the rest of the young adults. And i TOTALLY feel you on the weak advice "don't be alone togedda"! like that will ever happen. :)
I'm just waiting for my princess...excuse me, my queen. She's out there n I'm looking for her.
:) Z.
Gabi,
ur example is on point. I spend tons of time @ my bf place and...yeah. It's tough cos there's not too many places we can hang out and been together 2yrs it doesn't get any easier if you know what i mean :).
aima, you are just spot on on this
its one of the ares the church has'nt provided good answers to
you know why?
because there is no fast and blanket rule to it
there is a standard which we must all follow..........
that standard cannot be compromised.....
our body is His temple........marriage is honorable and the bed undefiled.
we known that!
lts of christian do not have problem with that.........
but our main challenge is how
how don i keep myself pure when all the cells within me is crying and reaching out to hold the one i love?
how do restrain my emotion when they seem to be on riot whenever i am with my lover?
how do i keep those rules...........even after we have prayed and yet i still want to hug , and i know deep within me, it will not only be the kind of hug i give to my other christian in the church.........
i can't keep a good relationship without us being alone!
i can't be alone without struggling!
sometimes i win in my struggle.........
this is what many christian experience in their relationship, and it becomes worst in this days of instant, free and easy sex splashed on our face regularly through the media and advert.
i agree with you, i will only add this.
we all need the holyspirit, i mean sincerely seek him in our relationship to know what to do.
there is a solution for each specific relationship.
He might tell you not to spend too much time together, your own might be not to be together at certain time of the day, yours might be during certain moods
i have been going out with the lady i want to marry next year for about 4 years now, and while i was with her in Lagos, we had several times God telling us to do or not to do one thing or the other. Those things were specific to us, i will be wrong to prescribe it as the rule for other couples.
Even with that, wee do struggle sometimes.
you know why!
we are humans,but what kept us is our sincerity and openness.
some say you need a third party..........that might not work for some relationship, because it lays a bad foundation for their marriage.
i can go on and on about this.
but ill say, each one of us need God to tell us what to do. And that will be the framework for our marriage as well.
there is no fast rule to this thing. Even if there is, the truth is i don't know it, because im still struggling with this myself.
Thank you!
[url=http://hcvasctv.com/itai/zoar.html]My homepage[/url] | [url=http://azrlxwyu.com/mlva/ucfe.html]Cool site[/url]
Good design!
My homepage | Please visit
Good design!
http://hcvasctv.com/itai/zoar.html | http://eurptnmw.com/aofi/lzhf.html
Post a Comment
<< Home