Caramel Complex

Race is such a complex issue. Being a young black woman in this society, I'ma tell ya I've experienced it more times than I could count. And in those moments I knew with overwhleming conviction what it was like to want to be violent. I've wanted to hit, push and physically abuse those ignorant people but I reminded me "you're a christian".

It's even harder when you experience these prejudices within the church. Lets not kid ourselves, racism is alive and kickin'. It's just that if you ask a white person, they'll say it doesn't exist no more. But how could they know? they've never had to endure it? they probably wouldn't recognize it and many don't realize when they do it. Blame it on ignorance. Obviously it's not all whites that think like that, definately not. I have a few white friends i tell all the time, they gat black souls, dropped in a white body and some black friends i tell the opposite.

This past tuesday, Campus Ambassadors, the christian grp @ worcestser state college, had a topic on race and the church. It was a beautiful discussion. Largely becos CA is mostly white, and the leaders took it upon themselves to address this issue and openly discuss it. Fact is most grps ignore this, and act like it isn't there. I contribute to it when i prefer to sit with my black sistas, than with the caucasians. I've preconditioned myself to think it'll be torture and boring to talk about hiking, handbags, applepicking and cheese flavors, when i could be flowing with my nubians about the BET awards and kirk franklin's last concert. I find that it's mad easy for blacks to relate with puerto ricans...we both have crazy beautiful cultures.

I love the flava of my color, let there be no doubt. But I admit the prejudice I've experienced outside influences my behavior within the church. It's everybody's fault. Why wouldn't blacks be mad when they show Katrina victims and the whites are calling for help, while the blacks are the looters and criminals. I used to work in a large biotech company and everytime I walked the hallways, people would look @ me like I was lost, becos I didn't belong in such a highclass, hard-to-get position (I made it a point to let my ID show clearly). Or when I wuz buying bread @ "white" store and the attendant gave everyone else a bag, nicely wrapped with their order, and she left my loaf on the counter. I gave her the worst and harshest look I could make and said "would it be too much to get a bag?" gimme props, cos I didn't say nuthin bad. Or returing a large box with a computer @ a store. I stood waiting at the register with the worker standing right there on the register for 5mins; a white couple walks up and he goes over to them and says "may I help you?". I gave him my famous evil look and went to another worker, cos I would have raised a storm in the store if I'd uttered a word to him.

Now tell me, if you'd still have a clear mind after these kinds of experiences.

But the church should be my haven away from all this stupidity. But the fact is, it's still humans that make up the church, and they'll always be prone to such ignorant actions. It's not coincidence most white churches are republican, its becos of fundamentalism; most black churches are democrat, becos it is the "justice" party, after we've endured centuries of slavery. We prefer a BBQ at the pool w/urban jams turned up too loud, than white water rafting or rock climbing...it's just the way it is.

Until we get over ourselves, get rid of the fake forced smiles, get real, and be 100% honest, we won't be united in our cause for Christ. These issues fall secondary to our primary mission of reaching the lost. We should be spending our energy digging into deep spiritual facets.

Mad respect and love to the peeps @CA, I love you guzs for this effort. It's the only place right now where I honestly feel like my caramel skin doesn't make the slightest difference.

101 Throwdown Anniversary...

For anyone who wuz @ the Underground this past weekend, I need not say anything else besides the title.
For anyone who wasn't...um, sorry.
Hands down the best concert I've been a part of (well...besides Revolution) and the hearts God moved...very sweet. We saw what God can and wants to do with christian artists, thru their music.

I hope christian music overall will adjust its bearings and refocus cos it seems a lot of the pop. artists are not dishin' the gospel as hot as it should be served. But time will tell, and so will the lyrics.

If saints from Providence stop by in here, drop a hug and a holla. And I gat new found love for the ministers (artists) I've met and connected with, truly appreciate ur encouragement. See ya'll for a repeat, or betta yet a surpassing-feat, on the Nov 19th.

101Love.

The Art of Advocacy

Everyone everywhere ought to have that 1 movement, cause or idea that they actively support, plead for and advocate.

That being said, there are some causes not worth batting a brow or sweating a drop for...and i say that just to keep things in perspective. I'm a bible-believing 'n' living christian, that should say enuff about the kinds of proposals I advocate.

Human Rights, Poverty eradication, Equal Education, Eliminating Racism and Sexism, Information and Communication, Culture tolerance etc and my personally most important God Knowledge.

I select all the above because as many people as we already have actively upholding these issues, we need so many more. Until more people show up for "Education Conferences" than for 50cent concerts, we'll continue to have these problems. My community suffers from those issues listed...besides human rights. And our politicians show up on sunday shows to talk about it but not on my corner street, to meet the people, interact with them and effect some kind of change. Word is most peeps who go into politics initially have noble intentions, but along the way they get infected with the same bacteria, that's making societies everywhere, sick.

However, I want this post to be positive. Pick a cause, an idea that fosters positivity, and brings hope to the community. There's plenty...children's rights, homeless shelters, afterschool programs, a dance center, performing arts theatre, alcohol & gun control, neighborhood watch...the list goes on. It is not enuff to mow ur own lawn and be satisfied, we were all made for a higher calling than simply the dream of material success, I pray everyone understands this. As for me I already picked up, held up, and spoke up my cause...it's in the shape of a cross.

1Love.

The Africa I know

You may not have known this but my roots extend all the way back to the west coast of Africa, Nigeria. Where the atlantic meets the beautiful sandy beaches of Victoria Island...that's my spot.

I've become increasingly disturbed with how many Americans have a very distorted view of what africa is like. Living here in Massachusettes, I get to experience ignorance too often. So in response I wrote this piece...enjoy

The Africa I know, is not the same one that's shown on CNN and Foxnews
The reality is really misconstrued
They gat people swinging from trees, everyone's a refugee
and if you visit, you gon catch a contagious disease
and I get asked "how come you speak such good english?"
See after all Africa has been thru
the slave trade, diamonds extracted at the cost of children's blood
gold mined by dead sons sitting in your jewelry box
you wonder why 3/4 is still 3rd world?
If my great great great grandfather's beautiful mind hadn't been shipped off
don't you know he would have invented the first light bulb?

They paint Africa as a grim picture, savage deadly and primitive
but I tell you they gat the whitest beaches
the views will leave you breathlesss
and the people don't trust in riches
some visit the safaries and think all they have are giraffes and tigers
Fact: worldwide scholars, travelled thru Nigeria, along the Niger river
to be schooled in Timbuktu
some think issall voodoo but 4got we made the 1st spices you put in ur food
The west ready dissappoints me with its ignorance
"No I don't speak 'African'" and "No, on the streets they don't ride on elephants"
why prejudiced towards the immigrant?
we all Adam's descendants, foreigners occupying the native indian's land
so don't be disrespectful talking 'bout my motherland

Broke top ten in oil production,
our history is French and British colonization,
but our reality is Pepsi and Coke competition, I'm just tryn to change ur perception
I never saw a lion. and the only place I saw a chimpanzee was playing donkeykong on my atari
and after school voltron cartoons and sesame street
I'm just like you
and yeah there are places where people starve and there are child soldiers
corrupt govt. officials and the situation with aids is critical
but don't make the mistake of thinking issall of Africa
From the dynasties of Accra Ghana to Addis Ababa in Ethiopia
you'll fall in love over and over, so keep them hamburgers
gimme pounded yam and Egusi soup
taste so good it hurt your feelings, n leave you anticipating a visitation
to Lagos, Victoria Island...hope you're proud of me
I replay my memories like my cd's, n though my accent will now sound foreign to thee
but still, you remain the Africa I know, the Africa I show.

Prayer for Iraq

Oruba Square and Karada, scenes destruction.
Children playing soccer, children killed by mortar
I hurt becos you hurt
who will comfort our mothers?
father survived the blast, only to be taken by an AK47
where is the innocence?
of the cousin who's only 7?

You've endured hell on earth, the dictator's wrath
when will peace be ur portion?
when will it be safe to shop in the market?
We never found the weapons of mass destruction
while your oil has been stolen,
leaving you poor, begging from door to door,
nation to nation, "please build us some infrastructure"
I wish I could be your savior
that you kids may 1nce more, sing from hearts of satisfaction.

This here is my prayer to God,
Rest for those who suffer, have mercy on the lost
judgement on the bombers, forgiveness for the sinners
The unconcerned, turn your brow to the powerless
for everyone that's last will become 1st
It's been too long, there've been too many tears
staining the brown dust of Baghdad's streets
sand and blood many of a victim, too soon forgotten
but don't you worry
Sustainable justice will soon become king.

Say it ain't so

10am sunday morning 'n' I'm ready to do the church thing again.

I should never be ready to "do the church thing" becos it should be fresh and different and unique for every sunday gathering but i say it ain't so.

There's a growing and stagnant problem with many of our churches today...the r-word called "Routine". Picture the days of Jesus as told in the gospels, the early church as told in acts, nuthing was typical, never redundant. But it seems like saints get comfy with knowing what each sunday brings, instead of praying for a new explosion. I dunno.

I do know He said "greater works will they do", and I'm getting restless 'n' impatient cos I'm not seeing those "greater works".

Why is it a wonder it seems hard to attract the world to our world? while we possess all they need, we've ended up portraying a reflection of what they see as irrelevant and unecessary. JC drew crowds heavier than anyone had seen B4. Today's church has a much larger missionary field, we should be busting borders, all be mini Jesus' causing positive commotion wherever we go.

It's probably due to the universal problem the word calls sin; God knows I have my share. But peoples we gat to overcome if we truly desire to advance the kingdom.
Here's my wishlist for a spirit spontaneous/out-of-the-routine sunday:
1. the service held outside instead of in the airconditioned auditoriums;
2. Have a total praise/worship service. Skip the choir, skip the announcements, skip the message.
3. Let the witnesses of God's goodness testify to the congregation.
4. Have a prayer service.
5. Break church early and have the entire congregation hit the streets to witness to the lost.
6. Use rap, performance poetry, drama, freestyle as part of the message delivery...that would be sick.

any pastors & revolutionists out there who can handle this?
1Love.

Not Sure?

Don't you just love the blame game? fingers can be pointed at as many peeps as possible in regards to the shameful initial relief response. Sure Brown is out but I think the problem reaches far beyond Michael Brown, into the very fabric of American society.

Maybe we're ashamed (and we should be) to admit it, but let's not be naive. The fact is the gulf coast residents are not very influential, most are poor, most are black. This response is how (I won't say America, but) the government treats those that don't grease their palms. I think we all just learned that for future purposes, we'd better watch our own backs becos the govt. won't do it if we're not among the green holders and vote givers.

On the positive...I'm constantly moved by the people who've stepped up and given to the victims. The charity orgs, the many churches, the celebrities and compassionate citizens. All I can say is, when the judgement comes, let not anyone think they won't get what they deserve. But now is the time to focus on the displaced, there'll be plenty of time, and talk shows to discuss and analyze this tragedy. Like the acting director of FEMA said, "look forward now, back later".


Meanwhile, almost 2wks ago about 1000 women and children died in a stampede in Iraq. It didn't make the front page. More children are perishing senselessly...it breaks my heart. As we display love and compassion to our fellow citizens, lets not forget we r citizens of the world...innocent children deserve our compassion too. Awareness...let it spread.

1Love.

Dare to Dream

i dared to dream...
visions, dat I could be more than the definition
that society gives me
dream.
beyond the horizon of present reality,
greatness is waiting for me,
to cross my red sea,
to imagine,
the unlimited, uninhibited, life resurrected
i dared,
to be the yes, in the midst of no
to stop n smell a rose, to stop n plant a rose
dare to stand up
dare to speak up
though it cost ur soul, stay true to your goal
and in the face of adversity, faith will guide you thru
fate won't let you fail
Just dare to dream
oceans increase with a drop
ripples form with just a small touch
masterpieces aren't made with just a brush
we are the colors, what will you paint?

...goes out

jus' wan extend some prayers and thots to my peoples over in New Orleans, and the surrounding towns dat've suffered this unprecedented storm. The images on the news r tough to watch, can't imagine what'd it'd be like to actually be there.

But don't lose heart and keep d head up, what doesn't kill you can only make you stronger. I suppose all of us should learn to appreciate even more what we have and where we are. In the midst of all this materialism it's easy to lose focus and dwell on unimportant things...let's catch the big picture and thank the Big Man, in all things.

Prayers, thots and faith, B urs.
Still, 1Love.